I'm sorry - 2004-03-27

I am feeling so lonely right now. Right to the point of a near panic attack. I'm 23 yrs old and I feel like I'm 40. I'm getting fat, I hate the same food I eat every single day, I hate my job, I hate watching movies all the time. I'm so sick of my repititous and predictable lifestyle.

The more I try to do things with people, the more they seem to push me away. I'm such a pushover. Why can't I stand up for myself?

Nobody seems to understand me. They just see me as a snob or superficial. "all about an image"

I've given up. I don't have the energy to try to make my life better. Nobody wants to participate in my self glorification and awareness. And I can't do it alone.

I don't think I'll ever be happy. I'll always find something wrong with where I'm at or who I am.

I'm sorry.

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